Suicide Prevention: Recognizing Warning Signs and Knowing How to Help

Suicide is a scary topic that we’re often motivated to avoid, but we are better served by approaching the problem and thinking about ways to help. Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among those 10 to 14 years old and the 3rd leading cause among teens and young adults from ages 15 to 24. 20% of high school students report that they’ve had suicidal thoughts and 9% report attempting suicide. In our own community we have seen the terrible tragedies of “suicide clusters” at local high schools. The good news is you can help prevent a tragedy if you know what to look for and how to respond.

Adolescents bear the burden of two specific developmental attributes that make them more vulnerable to suicidal thoughts. One is that they have heightened emotionality and reactivity. As they lack the life experience to give perspective to their sometimes difficult emotional experiences (break-ups, friendship rifts, rejection, bullying, etc.) they tend to feel the problems are extremely painful and sometimes believe (incorrectly) that the pain they feel is permanent and will not get better or go away. In addition to this heightened emotional suffering, adolescents tend to be more impulsive in the moment than adults, and may act on painful feelings without taking the time to think through their options or the consequences of their actions.

In terms of social-emotional experience, the most significant risk factor for this age group is a sense of alienation or “non-belonging.” Teens who are isolated and alone, without a support network of family and friends, without a sense that they belong and have a role in their community or school, are much higher risk than those who do have a sense of community and belonging. The loss of social support is an important acute risk factor for a teen, so pay special attention to those who have recently been “on the outs” with a friend group, gone through a break-up, or lost a loved one to death or displacement. More acute warning signs may include someone talking, joking, or posting about suicide, life not being worth living and other such dark themes. Giving away personal possessions or making plans to ‘tie up loose ends’ such as arranging for the care of a beloved pet are serious warning signs that someone may be thinking of dying soon. In most suicide cases, the person told at least one other person that they were thinking of killing themselves.

If you have suspicions or concerns, or if a person tells you directly about having dark thoughts, what to do next? Many people feel overwhelmed or even panicked when they witness someone they care about going through such thoughts. Thankfully, there are resources. First, encourage the person to be open about what is happening and what their thoughts are. Do NOT agree to keep the person’s suicidal thoughts “a secret”, but do attempt to be supportive and reassuring that things can get better. 988, the national suicide lifeline can be a helpful resource in finding more help and support for the individual experiencing suicidal thoughts. If the person is able to be calm and speak with you rationally, offer support such as “Can I help you call your psychiatrist or therapist?” If someone is imminently threatening suicide or is “shut down” and unwilling to have a discussion around getting help, then you may be in a situation to have to call 911 or get the person to an emergency room or other setting for a crisis evaluation. Although they may be upset in the moment, nearly all people who survive suicide attempts or serious suicidal thoughts later report relief and gratitude that they did not die.

While suicide is a tough topic, it is much better to be open about depression and dark thoughts and help the ones you care about get the help they need than remain silent on the issue.